My mom knocked on my door around 6 this morning with a bag of tamales and some stuff for my new place. I just said thank you and smiled and she closed the door behind her because she was late to work. Right before she left though she asked me through the window “Are you happy?” I just said “Thank you” with a smile. I was half asleep but that question really hit me after she left. I know she hoped that I would have a much different response about how happy I was to be in my own place, paying my own rent and bills and enjoying the responsibilities of living alone. I’m happy for all that. I just can’t shake out this feeling I’ve had for the past few weeks though, it’s like that feeling of wanting to curl up into a ball in the corner of the room in a cocoon of blankets and just sleeping away all the shitty things that have happened in the past few months. I can’t though because I have work at 9:30 this morning, I’ve already gotten myself ready and it’s a new day.
It’s so good sometimes I get to sad over it though and stop the record haha.
So at this point I am going to just pretend nothing ever happened and just like ” do me”. It’s time to just get the ball rolling again and get myself in a really good place.